Heidi

Today, I do not write of the garden. Instead, I write of Life and its predictable yet somber cycles.Yesterday, our family said goodbye to one of the dearest presences we have ever had in our life - our friend of over 6 years, Heidi.

Heidi came to live with us "temporarily" while her owners traveled to Japan for medical treatment. Heidi was 12 years young then. She drank coffee each morning and expected ice cream each evening. She was accustomed to long walks and laying on a blanket covered sofa. Heidi never knew she was a dog, that was until she came to live with us permanently.

We didn't choose her, she choose us. I guess she knew what she was doing. Joining a home of three children, 4 cats at the time and a home where we already had a dog could not have been easy given her age and life experience. She learned English, given her original families native tongue was Japanese. She was abruptly weaned off coffee, ice cream, sugar and grocery store dog food.

She was expected to go out side each day versus being an inside couch dog. She was expected to eat dinner each evening not from food passed under the table or off china but from actual dog food bowls. Despite her previous owners instructions, we did not always filter her water or walk her daily. We didn't brush her everyday either.

What we did do is love her with all of our heart. Despite faking being cold and not being able to hear us, we saw past all of this and we loved and accepted her. We realized that for her, living with us allowed her to genuinely have the life experience of being a dog. For us, she gave us love, protection, an opportunity to develop greater patience and compassion.

A few months ago, the signs of old age became undeniable. Heidi's hips hurt. Her sight diminished. Her hearing was even more selective. The most painful part was watching her mind slip further away. She acted erratic, circling or wandering sometimes for hours. Despite it all, she got up each day [although later and later] and spent them as close to us as she could.

Trying all we could to hold on and comfort her, we contacted Dr. Chauhan of East Valley Pet Hospital a couple of weeks ago. He and Jo came out and visited Heidi here at home. As you can imagine, the news was not unexpected but still no one ever wants to hear it. We decided on cortisone shots to help with the arthritis and while it was helpful, the Heidi we knew was fading.

Yesterday, I got Heidi ready for her follow up visit, prepared to continue with the cortisone treatment and perhaps have her nails clipped. I scheduled an appointment early enough in the day so that she could get in her full nap time. When we got to the Vet's office, I waited with her in the car, mindful that at her age the noise of the vet office might be just too much.

I left the appointment, alone.

Today, I am mindful of the gift Heidi was to me and our family. I am mindful of the loyalty and love we mutually shared. I am mindful of this journey called Life - how beautifully it begins and it must reach an end. I am reminded as I sit looking out over the nursery full of young annual plants that just a few weeks ago, were mere seeds - life is a series of cycles.

There is some comfort in that.